polychromatic: chuck, tv (came outta this grave to live)
polychromatic ([personal profile] polychromatic) wrote2019-02-13 10:42 pm

(no subject)

When my mom and I both have days off (me from being a veterinarian, my mom from being an interpreter/case worker/caregiver to my grandmother), we've made a habit of going out for a meal - usually breakfast or lunch. It's been so nice to spend a bit of time with here where we can be somewhat carefree and I can foot the bill and we can spoil ourselves a little. I have written a bit about my dad previously, but suffice it to say my mom and I are close and she is probably the most important person in my life. 

We recently had a brief discussion about my grandma because my mom will be departing on a month long trip overseas with my dad and their friends. There is the possibility that my grandma could deteriorate and pass away in her absence, but we both agreed that it wouldn't be fair to my dad for them not to go, and there is - truthfully - not much my mom can do. She has been an amazingly dutiful daughter and has been there every step of the way for my grandma. She needs to live her life too.

And it might seem a little morose to discuss this, but I also know there is the chance that my uncle - who has historically been the type to go into to denial and who in many ways has the emotional age of an adolescent - may not be able to handle things. So I wanted to be prepared in case I need to step in. The tough thing at this stage is that most of the people who have known and loved my grandma are no longer with us, or are in the kind of state where travel is too arduous and inconvenient. My mom knows what she would like for my grandma - a small and private service and a closed casket. I understand that choice; even looking at the pictures I posted before (which admittedly were taken over a decade apart) was startling to me. It's undeniable that it's easy to see Bu-bu's condition has wasted her away. It's hard to witness.

I hope she continues to prove us wrong - we have thought we would be saying goodbye on many occasions before. But I want my mom to know that if anything happens, it will be taken care of in her absence. Both she and Bu-bu deserve that much.