polychromatic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
polychromatic) wrote2019-02-21 10:02 pm
polychromatic) wrote2019-02-21 10:02 pm
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I meant to write yesterday about receiving my first jury summons, but I fell asleep instead. I probably shouldn't feel so relieved that the jury selection date falls during the period when I'm traveling to Australia and Hong Kong. I understand that it is a civic duty and privilege to be able to serve on a jury, but when all the practical aspects about job shifts needing to be covered and losing out on pay comes into play, it would be a bit of a headache. I'll have to ask if anyone at work has had to deal with it before. In any case, I feel pretty confident that since I have plane tickets paid for and vacation time arranged, that I'll likely be excused from the process this time around.
I spent part of today at the hospital with my grandma in the dementia ward because my mom wanted someone to be there for the swallowing test. I did bring some sewing to do because I feel like I need to be doing something. I left exhausted after a mere four hours though; being in the hospital always completely drains me of energy. The speech therapist who assessed her feels that she is still at risk of aspiration, and that because swallowing is becoming more difficult for her, it's likely that she will expend more energy from the action of swallowing than she will gain from what she swallows. My family is vehemently opposed to any kind of tube feeding, at which point we will have to accept that she will just slowly starve. The speech therapists have always emphasized that we should not force her to eat, but where that line is has always been a point of contention for me. I feel like when the "bullying" starts, that's when the feeding should stop for the day. Bu-bu has good and bad days, and we can't force every day to be good. And part of me thinks it's not fair to say we won't consider a feeding tube but then also try and force her to swallow what we deem to be an appropriate amount of nutrition to keep her going, in these circumstances.
This is so hard.
I spent part of today at the hospital with my grandma in the dementia ward because my mom wanted someone to be there for the swallowing test. I did bring some sewing to do because I feel like I need to be doing something. I left exhausted after a mere four hours though; being in the hospital always completely drains me of energy. The speech therapist who assessed her feels that she is still at risk of aspiration, and that because swallowing is becoming more difficult for her, it's likely that she will expend more energy from the action of swallowing than she will gain from what she swallows. My family is vehemently opposed to any kind of tube feeding, at which point we will have to accept that she will just slowly starve. The speech therapists have always emphasized that we should not force her to eat, but where that line is has always been a point of contention for me. I feel like when the "bullying" starts, that's when the feeding should stop for the day. Bu-bu has good and bad days, and we can't force every day to be good. And part of me thinks it's not fair to say we won't consider a feeding tube but then also try and force her to swallow what we deem to be an appropriate amount of nutrition to keep her going, in these circumstances.
This is so hard.